One of the biggest areas about being a new mom that I was not prepared for was breastfeeding. I knew all along that I wanted to breastfeed, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
I wanted my pregnancy and birth to be as natural, and drug free as possible, so it only made sense to give Liam the most natural form of nutrition. The benefits were far too good to pass up and be a "bottle-shaker."
I was so blessed with my breastfeeding efforts with Liam from the beginning, that I knew it was meant to be. Liam took to it like a duck to water. We struggled a little bit with the first attempt, but 15 minutes after being born, he was a breastfeeding baby.
The first few days in the hospital were a major struggle. My milk hadn't come in yet, and he was still learning to latch. He was pissed at every feeding to say the least. I would sit there in the hospital bed, on the verge of tears simply out of frustration. I felt like I could not feed my child. There were countless times I wanted to throw in the towel, and just give him a couple ounces of formula just so I knew that he was eating SOMETHING.
But I stayed strong.
I knew how important the colostrum was for him to eat, so I just made sure to feed him often. I even pumped out some colostrum and fed it to him in a bottle. He had never looked so pleased. He went straight into his " milk coma " and didn't come out of it for a few hours.
There were several times where I would have to call a nurse in to help me get him latched. There were times where Kyle would have to pin Liam's arms down because he would use his hands, not knowingly, to push my breast away. There were times where Liam wanted to do nothing more than sleep, so I had to strip him down to make him wake up some to eat. It was definitely a difficult process, but I was more than determined to make it work.
Now I can't get him off the TaTa's. That boy can eat!
It wasn't until we got home that the breastfeeding complications started. I thought I was latching him on correctly the entire time, but boy was I mistaken. Every time I went to latch Liam on, I would dig my nails into the couch, eyes would well up, and I wanted to scream. It was extremely painful. Everyone had always told me, " give it two weeks and the pain will go away." I thought this was all "normal" breastfeeding pain, so I continued to deal with it. It truly felt like someone had heated up a cheese grater, and was grating my nipples.
One morning I woke up to feed Liam, and both nipples were solid scabs. I sighed, and again, assumed it was part of the "normal" healing process. I put him to breast and after a few seconds looked down, and there was blood all over his mouth. I PANICKED. I quickly removed him and put him to the other one, and the same thing happened again. I was in tears and was so scared as to what was happening. Kyle went online and found out that I had been latching him on incorrectly the entire time. I talked to the pediatrician and she prescribed me some Lanolin cream which has been helping. I have been latching him on correctly now for 5 weeks and things have been great.
Well, mostly great....
Because Liam is sleeping longer stretches at night, I wake up super engorged. If I don't feed him, or pump, it is extremely painful. There have been 2 nights where I decided to choose sleep over waking up to sit and pump in the living room for 30 minutes, and boy did I regret it....
Leaving them engorged for hours resulted in clogged milk ducts...
I spent the next day heating and pumping. Massaging. Heating and pumping. Massaging. Heating and pumping.
After 48 hours, the clogs were gone. I have learned my lesson.
The other issue I am dealing with has to do with Liam. When he decides he is done eating, from time to time, he will RIP himself off my nip as he is sucking super hard. This results in milk blisters. Just like it sounds, they are blisters on the nipple that are full of milk. Kind of like a blood blister.
And crap do they hurt.
Basically what I am getting at is that breastfeeding sucks in the beginning. I understand why so many women give up and switch to formula. But ladies I promise you, it DOES get better. Just give it time and patience and there will come a point where you look forward to breastfeeding your child each day...all day.
I can not explain the feeling I get when it is just Liam and I bonding on the rocking chair in his room while I feed him. He looks up at me with his big blue eyes and I fall in love all over again. It is such an incredible feeling knowing that I am sustaining his life by doing something that is so natural. I cherish each moment that I am feeding him now, even the 2am feedings, because at that moment in time, it is just him and I...no distractions.
I know later in life when he grows up, I will look back on these moments and smile. Nothing compares to the bonding and the love I feel when I am breastfeeding him.
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